Hear hear, seagull !!!!!!!!

Same thing with damn cell phones - people pacing up and down the deck yacking to all and sundry on their cell phones.

C'mon People! This is meant to be your vacation!!!!!!!

Turn off the cell phone, and pay attention to the people around you. NO one wants to hear your one sided conversations about your small lives.

Oy Yoy!

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“He was, I believe, not in the least an ill-natured man: very much the opposite, I should say; but he would not suffer fools gladly.” George Bernard Shaw, “Pygmalion” (1912)

You’re right on, Cruising Mike! We were on an Alaska cruise recently (thank you for a great, great voyage, Princess) and, probably like many of you, at Skagway took an excursion on the dramatic White Pass & Yukon Route Railroad.

Not a minute or two on the journey a fellow near us was on his cellphone, loud enough for everyone to hear – we had to believe that he wanted everyone in the coach to know what a powerful business big shot he was. He was shouting instructions to some submissive lackey. We got out of there but a full 20 minutes later we passed through the coach and there he was, still at it. The temptation to yank the cellphone out of his clutches and to throw it out of the window to join the Alaskan wilderness was great.

It’s not just about cellphones or moviemakers. It’s all about manners. How is it that some cruisers leave their good manners at home. Would it be so hard to pack them along with your tuxedo and actually wear your good manners on the cruise? Try a bit of courtesy at sea. If you have to leave anything at home make it your cellphone.

My pet peev are those party animals who discuss their evening’s entertainment outside my door in the early hours of the morning. You’re on holiday. We understand that. Party as much as you wish. But don’t do it outside my door.

I blame those late-night revelries on liquor. Excessive drinking is a major problem on cruise ships. How often haven’t you had to sit next to a sloppy drunk at a cruise ship bar? Isn’t there something that cruise ships can do about limiting alcohol intake? Like everything else in life, it’s all about moderation.

Cell phones and shutter-idiots are small potatoes when it comes to shipboard irritants. What about those earlybirds who reserve their poolside lounger with their towels and books. They are much more annoying. It is not just the German stereotype to blame although the Germans were even targeted by a Reuters story: “Germans are famous around Europe for rising early to reserve recliners near the pool with their towels, and then going back to bed or eating a lengthy breakfast.“

Here’s a bit of trivia for you. The German beach towel stereotype had its origin in the 60s in Europe when the Germans and Brits started traveling in earnest and were competing with each other for poolside chairs and loungers in the sunny climes of the Mediterranean, German sunbed jokes became a staple in British newspapers and magazines.

The beach towel cartoon cliche has even been analysed by sociologists – the Goethe Institute and the University of Osnabrück actually carried out a survey of the German caricatures ... and apparently blamed the insecurity of the Brits who post-war were still trying to play catch-up with the German economic miracle. Some people take these things seriously!

Does anyone recall that cartoon during Desert Storm showing a British ship en route to the Gulf, carrying crates of German aid for the war against Iraq. The crates were marked “towels”. I can’t recall the exact words but a sailor tells his shipmate (something along these lines): “The new secret weapon. We just lay them on the beach in the early morning – the Germans claim they’re great for claiming territory.”